Every change starts with ourselves! You are the master of your Universe, and if you like to see a difference, then it’s your job to make that change. If you say “It is the others who have to change so that I can be happy!” then you, first of all, give up your power, and… that belief is… well… a bit controlling…
It’s none of your business what other people are thinking, meaning, believing, do or say – they have their own free choice, and they are allowed to use it exactly how they like.
If you want success, happiness, love, joy, and peace in your life, it is up to you to make the changes and take the actions to make it happen. Your happiness should never depend on someone else because the only real source to your happiness is yourself. No one else!
Take 100% Responsibility!
This magical secret is the very first step to having a successful, peaceful and happy life. When you decide that you’re going to take 100% responsibility for your own life, you’re handing yourself the first piece of a magic wand. ?
Now, some people get very upset when they’re being told to take responsibility for their own lives… some even get angry. I understand that some people carry some quite heavy stuff in their backpack – and the truth is; EVERY SINGLE PERSON WHOEVER HAD LIVED ON THIS PLANET HAD THEIR OWN *BS* IN THEIR BACKPACK. Everyone has bad experiences, went through a tough time, and had fought their battles. It’s a part of the school of life and being human.
If you’d experience sexual, verbal, physical and/or mental abuse of any sort, you were a victim for that experience. I am so sorry that you had experienced that! It would never be your fault, especially not if it happened in your childhood, by your parents. I was a victim of domestic violence during my entire childhood. It’s not okay, and it’s not your responsibility that you were attacked. ?
Take Back Your Power.
What I’d learned is; even though I went through domestic violence, I do responsibility for how much I would let it affect my adult life, my present, and my future. When we keep ourselves in the belief that we are a victim, that we can’t trust other people. It’s just a matter of time when they are going to hurt us again, or that we are unworthy of love and doesn’t deserve happiness in our lives. We are literally telling the Universe, that it is how we see ourselves, and the Universe is, in many ways, just a giant mirror, so it reflects it back to us by sending us shitty situations, unreliable people, and bad stuff into our lives…
The Universe reflects and affirms our most dominant Thoughts + Emotions + Focused Intention + Actions. So it is your responsibility to make sure that your most dominant thoughts, emotions, focused intention and actions reflect and support that life you want to live. Instead of letting life happens to you, you’re going to take charge of your situation and using this knowledge to make the best possible outcome for yourself.
#1 What does not work for you?
Before you can change anything, you must know what is not working for you. This should be an easy one.
What do you not want in your life?
What are you tired of?
What do you hate?
The first step is to recognize the problem. The monster always gets a bit smaller when you shine some light upon it. It’s often an overlooked part of the healing process, in these “positive thinking” times. While positive thinking is really powerful, we do also have to look into the things that don’t work, so we can heal and change them… and not ignore them.
For me, I knew that I no longer want to be suffering from the emotional pain from my past. I wouldn’t be vulnerable to those who had hurt me. I no longer want to let my past experiences influence my present and future relationships. I no longer want to sabotage my dreams and desires that I was working so hard to manifest, just because my own insecurity, impatience and need to be in control of everything got out of hand. I wanted to get rid of my deep-rooted anxiety.
#2 What do you want instead?
The next step is to figure out, what you want instead… This can be a little bit challenging. For everything you don’t want in your life, you now have to find at least one thing you would like instead of.
In my cases, I didn’t want any physical things… I just wanted to be happy, be in peace and be allowed to be myself, without fear for the consequences. I just want to do what I love and shine my light. Because I had been working with Manifestation, the Law of Attraction and Metaphysics since I was 7, I also knew that there was no person or physical thing that could be my heart’s desire to me. My happiness, peace, and freedom weren’t in the hands of another person or a thing, nor are you. It is a mindset thing!
#3 What actions can you take right now to change it?
Now we know what don’t want and what we want – next, and final step to change your life is…. TAKING ACTION! Badabim! And this is where responsibility really comes into play.
We took responsibility by recognizing what didn’t work for us anymore.
We took responsibility by figuring out what we want instead of.
Now it’s time to take the hardest step of responsibility – action!
I don’t know your situation, but in most cases, one of the action steps is reaching out for help.
Now, I don’t exactly know who made us believe that asking for help is a bad thing?! This is how I see it, if we already knew how to fix a problem of ours, we would have fixed it a long time ago. So the fact, that we are in a shitty situation tells me, that we need some sort of help. Big or small… Someone knows something that we don’t, and their knowledge could be that very thing we need to get back on track. Again, this is not requested to depending on somebody else to be happy. That’s codependency and it’s very toxic!
Ideas to Action Steps:
If you need to lose weight, maybe an action step could be to hire a personal trainer or ask your friends to be your workout bodies, so you get it done.
If you want to have more money in your life, an action step could be to make an appointment in your bank and talk with your financial adviser about how to improve your budget, and another action step could be talking with a financial coach to find ways you could make more money.
If you want a romantic and committed relationship with your soul mate, an action step could be to make your home ready for another person and get out to meet new people. It’s very unlikely your soul mate appearing from nowhere, knocking on your door… unless you would like to marry your UPS-guy ?
In my case, I went to my doctor and asked for a referral to local psychiatry. That’s how the system works in Denmark. The bottom line was, I knew my anxiety and stress had got way out of hand, and the Angels was almost screaming at me that I should see my doctor and get that referral NOW. My angels had been very, very patient with me, but I am also that kind of girl, who is horrible to ask for help – I’m used to fixing everything myself. ? Well, that was one of the reasons to I got stress, so lesson learned – Seek out the right person, and ask for help!
I got the referral and started in cognitive therapy, and now in psychotherapy. Even though I have a HUGE “medical bag” of personal development and spiritual tools, it sometimes can be difficult to use them on myself, because I suddenly I am both the healer and the client at the same time… is it even possible for anyone to be healer and client at the same time in serious issues as anxiety and stress? ?
Medical Treatment vs. Spiritual Healing.
It is my honest opinion that you NEVER should replace medical treatment with spiritual healing, no matter the form. What you can do is to supplement medical treatment with spiritual healing – that, on the other hand, is SUPER powerful! In that way, you get the best from both worlds.
So while I am in psychotherapy once a week, I use the new knowledge I am gaining from each session to continue the work at home, with my spiritual tools, like Reiki, Angel Healing, Akashic Record Healing, and keep working on my mindset being as supportive and happy as possible.
How I deal with Off-days.
If I have an “off-day,” like today, I allow myself to feel the emotions and recognize what my body is trying to tell me, and then take the responsibility to make sure I get well again.
Usually, that means I spend the day with self-love and self-pampering. Calling in sick and cancel all my appointments. Sleeping all that I want;. Make a pot of my favorite green-jasmine tea and drinking it from my favorite mug with my 75% dark chocolate. Eat the food I crave the most (without being judgmental of myself). Taking a long shower.; Just råhygge (can best explain as “have a really good time”) with myself and a good book. I do not watch television or movies – I’m way too sensitive.
By taking responsibility for my health, and listen to my body’s signals and taking a day off to pamper myself with self-love and all the things I love, independent of someone else, I’m back for good within 24 hours and can continue my journey of having a good and happy life.
The responsibility lies in taking charge of the situation, and do what it takes to get the outcome we seek. But we’re also only human, and our body and mental health play an essential part in having a happy and joyful life, so it’s also important to listen to our health and take care of whatever that’s coming up along the way.
Let me know in what ways you take responsibility for your life? – and how it changed your life?